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Best Facebook status updates - April

Old people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funeralsOld people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
If I actually did "live like there's no tomorrow". I'd be in jail.If I actually did "live like there's no tomorrow". I'd be in jail.
You're a shadow until you realize: It's only you that can set you free! :))You're a shadow until you realize: It's only you that can set you free! :))
Dear Heart, please stop getting involved in everything.Your job is to pump blood that's it. ♥Dear Heart, please stop getting involved in everything.Your job is to pump blood that's it. ♥
Walking around the house like a half dressed prostitute because your too lazy to put proper clothes on.Walking around the house like a half dressed prostitute because your too lazy to put proper clothes on.
Yes. yes. yes. yes i know. yep. i will. okay. yes. alright. okay, BYE MUM.Yes. yes. yes. yes i know. yep. i will. okay. yes. alright. okay, BYE MUM.
That awkward moment when you look in the mirror, and realize how sexy you are.That awkward moment when you look in the mirror, and realize how sexy you are.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that u have a 1,000 reasons to smile :)When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that u have a 1,000 reasons to smile :)
Immature = A word, boring people use to describe fun people :)Immature = A word, boring people use to describe fun people :)
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