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Best Facebook status updates - Wednesday - Page 34
I want someone to love me for me, not my mad sex skills.
*Checks who`s online*. Oh shit, LOG OUT LOG OUT LOG OUT!!! "Hey what`s up?" Damn!
I named my hard drive "That Thang" so once a month my computer asks me if I want to back That Thang up.
Being single because you're so hot that no-one dares to ask you out.
Singing "You Raise Me Up" while riding the escalator.
Asking Gollum to be the Ring Bearer for your Wedding.
I would love car sex. Or just sex. Or just a car.
Sitting on your floor in your undies. Not knowing what to wear.
"Does this dress make me look fat?" ... "No, your fat makes you look fat."
Feeling lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
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