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Best Facebook status updates - Wednesday - Page 51

Waving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchenWaving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchen
Doing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else'sDoing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else's
Getting a sticker at the dentist because you're a brave bastard.Getting a sticker at the dentist because you're a brave bastard.
Marrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastardMarrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastard
Looking at % instead of price when buying alcohol.Looking at % instead of price when buying alcohol.
Eating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolismEating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolism
Getting drunk and selling your friends for cigarettes.Getting drunk and selling your friends for cigarettes.
I wanna be slammed against a wall and kissed like you mean itI wanna be slammed against a wall and kissed like you mean it
Blanket on - too hot, blanket off - too cold, stick leg out - Demon eats youBlanket on - too hot, blanket off - too cold, stick leg out - Demon eats you
"I need a drink or 12.""I need a drink or 12."
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