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Best Facebook status updates - Last Week - Page 129

Doing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else'sDoing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else's
Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.
Romantically removing the gold paper from your nutellaRomantically removing the gold paper from your nutella
Marrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastardMarrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastard
Believeing something will load quicker if you dont look at itBelieveing something will load quicker if you dont look at it
Police call it "Drunk and Disorderly" we call it "having a good night"Police call it "Drunk and Disorderly" we call it "having a good night"
You may wear the pants in this relationship, but i control the zipper. (:You may wear the pants in this relationship, but i control the zipper. (:
Looking at someone and thinking "The things i would do to you"Looking at someone and thinking "The things i would do to you"
Having weird inside jokes with your friendsHaving weird inside jokes with your friends
Putting something broken back together so the next person breaks itPutting something broken back together so the next person breaks it
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