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Best Facebook status updates - December - Page 106

When you finally let go of the past, something better comes along.When you finally let go of the past, something better comes along.
I spent my whole childhood wishing I was older. Now I'm older, it sucks.I spent my whole childhood wishing I was older. Now I'm older, it sucks.
"Kidnapping" is such a strong word. I prefer to say "Surprise Adoption"."Kidnapping" is such a strong word. I prefer to say "Surprise Adoption".
I can tell when you're mad, happy or sad by your textsI can tell when you're mad, happy or sad by your texts
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket!"I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket!"
You miss the days when you could safely push someone into a pool, now you gotta worry about the iPod, the cellphone, maybe a PSP, you push someone in, it costs you $939.You miss the days when you could safely push someone into a pool, now you gotta worry about the iPod, the cellphone, maybe a PSP, you push someone in, it costs you $939.
I'm fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.I'm fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.
My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Only this time, it’d be with a car or a baseball bat... My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Only this time, it’d be with a car or a baseball bat...
When I'm bored I sit on Facebook and Like stuff...When I'm bored I sit on Facebook and Like stuff...
Strangers stab you in the front. Friends stab you in the back. Boyfriends stab you in the heart. But best friends only poke each other with straws :)Strangers stab you in the front. Friends stab you in the back. Boyfriends stab you in the heart. But best friends only poke each other with straws :)
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