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Best Facebook status updates - December - Page 67
Grandpa: When i was your age my momma would send me down to the store with $1 and I would come back with 5 bags of potatoes 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk a box of tea and 6 eggs but you cant do that these days too many stupid security cameras.
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body." "That's odd", replied the doctor, "Show me what you mean" So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on. The doctor says, "You're not a natural brunette are you?" "No I'm a blonde", she replies. "I thought so.... your finger is broken.", replies the doctor.
...with a friend like you climbing Mt. Everest is a peace of cake...
Sitting down in the shower when you cba standing..
you must once be stupid in order to gain wisdom
I smile when my phone buzzes..... because I know its you. :)
You are the constant tingle to my heart<3
I like to drink beer, sometimes two. Eventually seven.
When two people go missing from a party, "they're probably having sex".
I'm a ninja. No you're not. Did you see me do that? Do what? Exactly.
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