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Best Facebook status updates - June - Page 64

I'm fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.I'm fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.
The kids next door have challenged me to a water fight... I'm just updating my status while I wait for the kettle to boil.The kids next door have challenged me to a water fight... I'm just updating my status while I wait for the kettle to boil.
I'm not ignoring you, I'm waiting to see if you'll make an effort.I'm not ignoring you, I'm waiting to see if you'll make an effort.
If I actually did "live like there's no tomorrow". I'd be in jail.If I actually did "live like there's no tomorrow". I'd be in jail.
Parents spend 2 years teaching their child to walk and talk then spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut upParents spend 2 years teaching their child to walk and talk then spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up
Relationships: take forever to build, seconds to fall.Relationships: take forever to build, seconds to fall.
"But mom what if i get kidnapped?" "Trust me, they'd bring you back""But mom what if i get kidnapped?" "Trust me, they'd bring you back"
WTF = Welcome To FacebookWTF = Welcome To Facebook
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
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