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Best Facebook status updates - Tuesday - Page 99

I drink on only two occasions, when it's my birthday and when it's not.I drink on only two occasions, when it's my birthday and when it's not.
We all have that one friend who disappears during every night out.We all have that one friend who disappears during every night out.
Awkward moment when you can't talk properly because the other person is hotAwkward moment when you can't talk properly because the other person is hot
Life's too short to remove usb safelyLife's too short to remove usb safely
I must go. My planet needs me.I must go. My planet needs me.
The awkward moment when Barbie realises Ken has nothing in his pants.The awkward moment when Barbie realises Ken has nothing in his pants.
I'm actually not funny. I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.I'm actually not funny. I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.
Doing something wrong, and feeling so finee :)Doing something wrong, and feeling so finee :)
Guys who can cookGuys who can cook
Looking at someone and think "Yep you have a person in you basement"Looking at someone and think "Yep you have a person in you basement"
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