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Best Facebook status updates - Wednesday - Page 88

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
Old people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funeralsOld people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
What do you call a guy who makes jokes about girls being in the kitchen? Single.What do you call a guy who makes jokes about girls being in the kitchen? Single.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
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