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Best Facebook status updates - Wednesday - Page 90
Hanging out with Jesus to save money on wine
Lost your pen = no pen. No pen = no notes. No notes = no study. No study = fail. Fail = no diploma. No diploma = no work. No work = no money. No money = no food. No food = you get skinny. Skinny = then you get ugly. Ugly = no lover. No lover = no marriage
Grandpa: When i was your age my momma would send me down to the store with $1 and I would come back with 5 bags of potatoes 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk a box of tea and 6 eggs but you cant do that these days too many stupid security cameras.
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body." "That's odd", replied the doctor, "Show me what you mean" So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on. The doctor says, "You're not a natural brunette are you?" "No I'm a blonde", she replies. "I thought so.... your finger is broken.", replies the doctor.
Wow. You guys are so cool for taking a profile picture. Of yourself. In a mirror. In your bathroom. With a toilet as your background. Nice. XD
How can I "let go" of the past, when it has such a bloody firm grip?
My name changes to "Billie" whenever I want to be alone.
...with a friend like you climbing Mt. Everest is a peace of cake...
Sitting down in the shower when you cba standing..
I was born COOL but global warming make me HOT
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