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Best Facebook status updates - Page 45

Love is a not a losing game - if you know how to play it well;)Love is a not a losing game - if you know how to play it well;)
My next house will have no kitchen – just vending machines and an extremely large trash can.My next house will have no kitchen – just vending machines and an extremely large trash can.
I hate it when my parents don't answer their phone but get mad when I don't answer mine.I hate it when my parents don't answer their phone but get mad when I don't answer mine.
I want to try the water attraction in the Coca-Cola summer commercial 2011I want to try the water attraction in the Coca-Cola summer commercial 2011
How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex? Wipe your d*ck on the curtains. How do you make a woman scream twice? F**k her in the a*s, then wipe your d*ck on the drapes.How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex? Wipe your d*ck on the curtains. How do you make a woman scream twice? F**k her in the a*s, then wipe your d*ck on the drapes.
Girls dad: "don't let him touch you", boys dad: "get in there son."Girls dad: "don't let him touch you", boys dad: "get in there son."
Don't you hate it when you just get comfortable and you realize that the remote is just out of reach?Don't you hate it when you just get comfortable and you realize that the remote is just out of reach?
Everyday is a gift, that's why it's called "the present"...Everyday is a gift, that's why it's called "the present"...
That everyone has a different, weird smelling house. Except your house :DThat everyone has a different, weird smelling house. Except your house :D
A man's biggest mistake is giving another man the opportunity to make her woman smile.A man's biggest mistake is giving another man the opportunity to make her woman smile.
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