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Best Facebook status updates - Page 46

Girls dad: "don't let him touch you", boys dad: "get in there son."Girls dad: "don't let him touch you", boys dad: "get in there son."
Don't you hate it when you just get comfortable and you realize that the remote is just out of reach?Don't you hate it when you just get comfortable and you realize that the remote is just out of reach?
That everyone has a different, weird smelling house. Except your house :DThat everyone has a different, weird smelling house. Except your house :D
How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex? Wipe your d*ck on the curtains. How do you make a woman scream twice? F**k her in the a*s, then wipe your d*ck on the drapes.How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex? Wipe your d*ck on the curtains. How do you make a woman scream twice? F**k her in the a*s, then wipe your d*ck on the drapes.
Sometimes we cant choose the music life gives us but we can definitely choose how we dance.Sometimes we cant choose the music life gives us but we can definitely choose how we dance.
I Hate It When I Do something Amazing And No One Sees it I Hate It When I Do something Amazing And No One Sees it
I don't have time to study, I'm a NinjaI don't have time to study, I'm a Ninja
I may look calm, but in my head I've killed you 3 timesI may look calm, but in my head I've killed you 3 times
When life is hard, I take a nap.When life is hard, I take a nap.
Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher.Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher.
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