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Best Facebook status updates - Monday - Page 21
Old people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
"But mom what if i get kidnapped?" "Trust me, they'd bring you back"
I love listening to lies when i know the truth.
I am good in bed.... I can sleep all day
Bacon is bacon. Eggs are eggs. Don't let a guy get between your legs. He says, "you're cute." he says, "you're fine." Nine months later, he says, "not mine."
My phone doesn't have enough battery left to take pictures or videos, or send pic messages, but it has enough battery to keep reminding me every 2 minutes that the battery is low.
You Are Never Too Old For A Disney Movie
I HATE WHEN MY PARENTS ASK WHO IM TEXTING.
Hangovers: God's way of saying "YOU KICKED ASS LAST NIGHT"
AT AGE 6: I want to be a princess ! AT AGE 9:I want to be a teacher ! AT AGE 12: I want to be a lawyer. AT AGE 17: I have NO clue
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