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Best Facebook status updates - Monday - Page 60

You call them Haters, I call them people who wish they were me.You call them Haters, I call them people who wish they were me.
I Can. But I won't.I Can. But I won't.
When two people go missing from a party, "they're probably having sex".When two people go missing from a party, "they're probably having sex".
I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.
LIKE if you check your phone to see what time it is and then check it again because the first time you weren't paying attention.LIKE if you check your phone to see what time it is and then check it again because the first time you weren't paying attention.
I hate it when someone else takes the piece of food I mentally claimed.I hate it when someone else takes the piece of food I mentally claimed.
6 FUNNIEST CONTRADICTING WORDS 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Found missing 5.Fully empty 6.Happily married6 FUNNIEST CONTRADICTING WORDS 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Found missing 5.Fully empty 6.Happily married
My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update as the search bar.My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update as the search bar.
In your bed, It's 6AM, You close your eyes for 5 minutes, It's 7:45. At school or work, It's 12:30, You close your eyes for 5 minutes, It's 12:31.In your bed, It's 6AM, You close your eyes for 5 minutes, It's 7:45. At school or work, It's 12:30, You close your eyes for 5 minutes, It's 12:31.
It is hard to find the real one but more difficult is to forget the wrong one....It is hard to find the real one but more difficult is to forget the wrong one....
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