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Best Facebook status updates - December - Page 71
Alcohol doesn't give you the answer. But it makes you forget the question.
Shooting your gf because she left the kitchen without permission
My neighbour is stalking me, he Googled me, I saw it through my telescope.
"Does this dress make me look fat?" ... "No, your fat makes you look fat."
Not texting back for 3 hours because you're a hard to get bastard
Dropping out of society to live in the wilderness as a unicorn
Sitting on your floor in your undies. Not knowing what to wear.
Singing "You Raise Me Up" while riding the escalator.
Being single because you're so hot that no-one dares to ask you out.
Look at your status, now back to mine, now back at yours, now back at mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about the other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like. I’m on a computer.
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