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Best Facebook status updates - December - Page 92

I know a bunch of random usless facts that will get me nowhere in life.I know a bunch of random usless facts that will get me nowhere in life.
"I got a ride Mom." "With who?" "I don't know but they have candy.""I got a ride Mom." "With who?" "I don't know but they have candy."
Standing in the kitchen pretending to be a woman, making woman noisesStanding in the kitchen pretending to be a woman, making woman noises
Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.
Doing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else'sDoing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else's
Giving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbishGiving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbish
Marrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastardMarrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastard
Eating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolismEating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolism
Ohe satisfaction of sleeping in your own bed after being away for so long.Ohe satisfaction of sleeping in your own bed after being away for so long.
High heels were invented so women could put away dishes on the top shelf.High heels were invented so women could put away dishes on the top shelf.
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