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Best Facebook status updates - This Week - Page 133

Standing in the kitchen pretending to be a woman, making woman noisesStanding in the kitchen pretending to be a woman, making woman noises
Watching a romantic movie and accepting the fact you're going to die alone.Watching a romantic movie and accepting the fact you're going to die alone.
Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.
Getting a sticker at the dentist because you're a brave bastard.Getting a sticker at the dentist because you're a brave bastard.
Marrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastardMarrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastard
Police call it "Drunk and Disorderly" we call it "having a good night"Police call it "Drunk and Disorderly" we call it "having a good night"
I wanna be slammed against a wall and kissed like you mean itI wanna be slammed against a wall and kissed like you mean it
"I need a drink or 12.""I need a drink or 12."
"Shut up, you love it""Shut up, you love it"
The awkward moment when Barbie realises Ken has nothing in his pants.The awkward moment when Barbie realises Ken has nothing in his pants.
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