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Best Facebook status updates - Thursday - Page 100

Waving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchenWaving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchen
Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.
Giving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbishGiving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbish
Marrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastardMarrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastard
Looking at % instead of price when buying alcohol.Looking at % instead of price when buying alcohol.
Eating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolismEating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolism
Ohe satisfaction of sleeping in your own bed after being away for so long.Ohe satisfaction of sleeping in your own bed after being away for so long.
Deleting your internet history after a hard day of being a priest.Deleting your internet history after a hard day of being a priest.
Getting drunk and selling your friends for cigarettes.Getting drunk and selling your friends for cigarettes.
You may wear the pants in this relationship, but i control the zipper. (:You may wear the pants in this relationship, but i control the zipper. (:
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