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Best Facebook status updates - Thursday - Page 101

Old people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funeralsOld people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
What do you call a guy who makes jokes about girls being in the kitchen? Single.What do you call a guy who makes jokes about girls being in the kitchen? Single.
The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
When love goes wrong nothing goes rightWhen love goes wrong nothing goes right
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
i absolutely hate thinking about you, and i hate missing you even more: i have no space in my heart or mind, for a criminal like you to hide, especially when i was pushed aside, for the biggest mistake of your life...i absolutely hate thinking about you, and i hate missing you even more: i have no space in my heart or mind, for a criminal like you to hide, especially when i was pushed aside, for the biggest mistake of your life...
‎"Every man at the door don't get a key. You're on the outside looking in, now tell me what you see"‎"Every man at the door don't get a key. You're on the outside looking in, now tell me what you see"
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