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Best Facebook status updates - Wednesday - Page 44

Not wearing condoms because the world needs more people like youNot wearing condoms because the world needs more people like you
My neighbour is stalking me, he Googled me, I saw it through my telescope.My neighbour is stalking me, he Googled me, I saw it through my telescope.
‎7.12 am OMG! im late again muuuuuuuuuuuum ?? why didn't you wake me up ? -.- mum: I did. 3 times and each time you told me that you were getting up right way ^.- and you belived me mum?!? -.-'‎7.12 am OMG! im late again muuuuuuuuuuuum ?? why didn't you wake me up ? -.- mum: I did. 3 times and each time you told me that you were getting up right way ^.- and you belived me mum?!? -.-'
I would love car sex. Or just sex. Or just a car.I would love car sex. Or just sex. Or just a car.
Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet. - Bob MarleySome people feel the rain. Others just get wet. - Bob Marley
all we need is diet.all we need is diet.
Giving your friend the "what the f**k is this" look during a testGiving your friend the "what the f**k is this" look during a test
I named my hard drive "That Thang" so once a month my computer asks me if I want to back That Thang up.I named my hard drive "That Thang" so once a month my computer asks me if I want to back That Thang up.
"Are you trying to get me drunk?" "Not drunk, just relaxed and naked.""Are you trying to get me drunk?" "Not drunk, just relaxed and naked."
Dont Be In A Relationship If You're Going To Act SingleDont Be In A Relationship If You're Going To Act Single
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