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Best Facebook status updates - Wednesday - Page 59

Being single because you're so hot that no-one dares to ask you out.Being single because you're so hot that no-one dares to ask you out.
The proud moment when your bra matches your undies.The proud moment when your bra matches your undies.
Look at your status, now back to mine, now back at yours, now back at mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about the other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like. I’m on a computer.Look at your status, now back to mine, now back at yours, now back at mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about the other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like. I’m on a computer.
My imaginary girlfriend dumped me today... Let's Get FAT!!My imaginary girlfriend dumped me today... Let's Get FAT!!
When everyone is in a relationship, and you're like lol where are my catsWhen everyone is in a relationship, and you're like lol where are my cats
Responding to texts while half asleep, then realizing you make no sense.Responding to texts while half asleep, then realizing you make no sense.
Not telling your parents about the nice man who gives you candy in his van.Not telling your parents about the nice man who gives you candy in his van.
"Are you trying to get me drunk?" "Not drunk, just relaxed and naked.""Are you trying to get me drunk?" "Not drunk, just relaxed and naked."
Getting home and going on FB after a long hard day of FB mobileGetting home and going on FB after a long hard day of FB mobile
I want someone to love me for me, not my mad sex skills.I want someone to love me for me, not my mad sex skills.
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