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Best Facebook status updates - Page 137
You may wear the pants in this relationship, but i control the zipper. (:
Friend: Hey dude!! How far are you from here? Me: I will be there in five minutes, if im not... read this message again.
Standing in the kitchen pretending to be a woman, making woman noises
I don’t care how hot a girl is if her legs open as easily as an unlocked door, letting anyone who can turn the knob in, she instantly becomes ugly to me
I Hate it when My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.
Lying on the kitchen floor crying because there is nothing good to eat.
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
* I love you * * No you don`t !! I love you more * * No, I love you more * LIKE if you ever had this argument :)
fakebook friends ignore the notification thats its yr birthday
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