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Best Facebook status updates - Page 23

"Clean your room, family are coming over." ... "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise the gathering would be held in my bedroom.""Clean your room, family are coming over." ... "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise the gathering would be held in my bedroom."
I am so good at cooking, even the smoke alarm is cheering me on :)I am so good at cooking, even the smoke alarm is cheering me on :)
I'm fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.I'm fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.
Trying to resist the urge to write sarcastic comments on peoples statusesTrying to resist the urge to write sarcastic comments on peoples statuses
Life is short ,break the rules ,forgive quickly,kiss slowly ,love truly ,help derivatives , laugh always and uncontrollably and never regret anything that u made smile :)Life is short ,break the rules ,forgive quickly,kiss slowly ,love truly ,help derivatives , laugh always and uncontrollably and never regret anything that u made smile :)
Someone needs to help Rihanna, she likes rude boys, loves it when people lie to her, and apparently forgot her name.Someone needs to help Rihanna, she likes rude boys, loves it when people lie to her, and apparently forgot her name.
There's 6,697,254,041 people in the world but i want you :)There's 6,697,254,041 people in the world but i want you :)
We do not remember days, we remember moments!!!We do not remember days, we remember moments!!!
ATTENTION ALL EMINEM FANS On October 17th (before if you can't make it) we will all watch "Not Afraid" in honor of the greatest rapper ever's birthday. Let's give him the best birthday present ever: the highest viewed video on YouTube!! Let's give him what he deserves and what Justin Beiber does not deserve to have! Copy and paste to all Eminem videos and all music videos let's get this noticed quickly! THUMBS THIS UP LET'S GET THIS NOTICED EMINEM OR DIE.ATTENTION ALL EMINEM FANS On October 17th (before if you can't make it) we will all watch "Not Afraid" in honor of the greatest rapper ever's birthday. Let's give him the best birthday present ever: the highest viewed video on YouTube!! Let's give him what he deserves and what Justin Beiber does not deserve to have! Copy and paste to all Eminem videos and all music videos let's get this noticed quickly! THUMBS THIS UP LET'S GET THIS NOTICED EMINEM OR DIE.
Don't pick me... don't pick me... *teacher calls your name* ...dammit.Don't pick me... don't pick me... *teacher calls your name* ...dammit.
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