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Best Facebook status updates - Page 24

I am so good at cooking, even the smoke alarm is cheering me on :)I am so good at cooking, even the smoke alarm is cheering me on :)
I'm fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.I'm fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.
Trying to resist the urge to write sarcastic comments on peoples statusesTrying to resist the urge to write sarcastic comments on peoples statuses
Today I’m giving my heart to you .. please be careful how you handle it , not because it’s mine , but because Your inside it .Today I’m giving my heart to you .. please be careful how you handle it , not because it’s mine , but because Your inside it .
Someone needs to help Rihanna, she likes rude boys, loves it when people lie to her, and apparently forgot her name.Someone needs to help Rihanna, she likes rude boys, loves it when people lie to her, and apparently forgot her name.
Don't pick me... don't pick me... *teacher calls your name* ...dammit.Don't pick me... don't pick me... *teacher calls your name* ...dammit.
The iPad: Because the iPhone was too small for other people to notice you.The iPad: Because the iPhone was too small for other people to notice you.
Life is like Facebook. People will LIKE your problems & comment, but no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs.Life is like Facebook. People will LIKE your problems & comment, but no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs.
There's only two times I want to be with you; now and forever ♥There's only two times I want to be with you; now and forever ♥
No regrets, they don't workNo regrets, they don't work
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