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Best Facebook status updates - Monday - Page 106
I know a bunch of random usless facts that will get me nowhere in life.
"I got a ride Mom." "With who?" "I don't know but they have candy."
Standing in the kitchen pretending to be a woman, making woman noises
Watching a romantic movie and accepting the fact you're going to die alone.
Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.
Waving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchen
Licking Candy Canes Till They're Sharp And Then Stabbing People With Them
Getting a sticker at the dentist because you're a brave bastard.
Romantically removing the gold paper from your nutella
Marrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastard
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