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Best Facebook status updates - Sunday - Page 31

High heels were invented so women could put away dishes on the top shelf.High heels were invented so women could put away dishes on the top shelf.
I wanna be slammed against a wall and kissed like you mean itI wanna be slammed against a wall and kissed like you mean it
Johnny, la gente esta muy locaJohnny, la gente esta muy loca
You may wear the pants in this relationship, but i control the zipper. (:You may wear the pants in this relationship, but i control the zipper. (:
Getting drunk and selling your friends for cigarettes.Getting drunk and selling your friends for cigarettes.
Deleting your internet history after a hard day of being a priest.Deleting your internet history after a hard day of being a priest.
Eating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolismEating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolism
Giving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbishGiving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbish
Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.
Texting your mate after a night out to make sure they're aliveTexting your mate after a night out to make sure they're alive
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