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Best Facebook status updates - Sunday - Page 44

Shooting your gf because she left the kitchen without permissionShooting your gf because she left the kitchen without permission
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.
Women only belong in the kitchen? No action in the bedroom for you then.Women only belong in the kitchen? No action in the bedroom for you then.
"Does this dress make me look fat?" ... "No, your fat makes you look fat.""Does this dress make me look fat?" ... "No, your fat makes you look fat."
Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.
I would love car sex. Or just sex. Or just a car.I would love car sex. Or just sex. Or just a car.
Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet. - Bob MarleySome people feel the rain. Others just get wet. - Bob Marley
Asking Gollum to be the Ring Bearer for your Wedding.Asking Gollum to be the Ring Bearer for your Wedding.
When life is hard, I take a nap.When life is hard, I take a nap.
all we need is diet.all we need is diet.
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