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Best Facebook status updates - Tuesday - Page 39

When everyone is in a relationship, and you're like lol where are my catsWhen everyone is in a relationship, and you're like lol where are my cats
Laying on the bathroom floor... Not my favorite way to start the day.Laying on the bathroom floor... Not my favorite way to start the day.
My imaginary girlfriend dumped me today... Let's Get FAT!!My imaginary girlfriend dumped me today... Let's Get FAT!!
The proud moment when your bra matches your undies.The proud moment when your bra matches your undies.
Giving your friend the "what the f**k is this" look during a testGiving your friend the "what the f**k is this" look during a test
Having too much month left at the end of the money.Having too much month left at the end of the money.
I would love car sex. Or just sex. Or just a car.I would love car sex. Or just sex. Or just a car.
Not texting back for 3 hours because you're a hard to get bastardNot texting back for 3 hours because you're a hard to get bastard
Women only belong in the kitchen? No action in the bedroom for you then.Women only belong in the kitchen? No action in the bedroom for you then.
Not wearing condoms because the world needs more people like youNot wearing condoms because the world needs more people like you
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