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Best Facebook status updates - Last Week - Page 20
What do you call a guy who makes jokes about girls being in the kitchen? Single.
YUGO - You go, but car doesn't
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
I'm always tired, because I'm a superhero at night.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
A wise girl kisses but doesn't love. Listens but doesn't believe and leaves before she is left - Marilyn Monroe
HOW TO MAKE YOUR PARENTS THINK YOU'RE INSANE Follow them around the house everywhere Moo when they say your name Run into walls Say that wearing clothes is against your religion Jump off the roof, trying to fly Hold their hand and whisper to them, I see dead people At everything they say yell, Liar Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine Try to swim in the floor
What if I accidentally rape you?
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