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Best Facebook status updates - May - Page 97

Not telling your parents about the nice man who gives you candy in his van.Not telling your parents about the nice man who gives you candy in his van.
*Checks who`s online*. Oh shit, LOG OUT LOG OUT LOG OUT!!! "Hey what`s up?" Damn!*Checks who`s online*. Oh shit, LOG OUT LOG OUT LOG OUT!!! "Hey what`s up?" Damn!
"Are you trying to get me drunk?" "Not drunk, just relaxed and naked.""Are you trying to get me drunk?" "Not drunk, just relaxed and naked."
Getting home and going on FB after a long hard day of FB mobileGetting home and going on FB after a long hard day of FB mobile
Dear 4th Grader, On Facebook, your relationship status is 'It's complicated'. What he do? Steal your animal crackers? Sincerely, Your Mother.Dear 4th Grader, On Facebook, your relationship status is 'It's complicated'. What he do? Steal your animal crackers? Sincerely, Your Mother.
Those moods where you just want to cuddle up to someone and fall asleepThose moods where you just want to cuddle up to someone and fall asleep
Watching a romantic movie and accepting the fact you're going to die alone.Watching a romantic movie and accepting the fact you're going to die alone.
Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.
Ohe satisfaction of sleeping in your own bed after being away for so long.Ohe satisfaction of sleeping in your own bed after being away for so long.
Deleting your internet history after a hard day of being a priest.Deleting your internet history after a hard day of being a priest.
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