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Best Facebook status updates - This Week - Page 101

I can tell when you're mad, happy or sad by your textsI can tell when you're mad, happy or sad by your texts
I can't believe Google is only 12 years old and it knows a lot more than I doI can't believe Google is only 12 years old and it knows a lot more than I do
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket!"I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket!"
I'm fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.I'm fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.
My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Only this time, it’d be with a car or a baseball bat... My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Only this time, it’d be with a car or a baseball bat...
Love is like quicksand, the deeper and deeper you fall in... the harder it is to get out.Love is like quicksand, the deeper and deeper you fall in... the harder it is to get out.
"why didn't u answer my call?!" "Cuz i was dancing to my ringtone!""why didn't u answer my call?!" "Cuz i was dancing to my ringtone!"
"OMG our house is on fire!!" "OMG!! Hold on I need to update my facebook status!!!""OMG our house is on fire!!" "OMG!! Hold on I need to update my facebook status!!!"
When I'm bored I sit on Facebook and Like stuff...When I'm bored I sit on Facebook and Like stuff...
Strangers stab you in the front. Friends stab you in the back. Boyfriends stab you in the heart. But best friends only poke each other with straws :)Strangers stab you in the front. Friends stab you in the back. Boyfriends stab you in the heart. But best friends only poke each other with straws :)
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