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Best Facebook status updates - This Week - Page 100

I'm fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.I'm fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.
My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Only this time, it’d be with a car or a baseball bat... My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Only this time, it’d be with a car or a baseball bat...
Love is like quicksand, the deeper and deeper you fall in... the harder it is to get out.Love is like quicksand, the deeper and deeper you fall in... the harder it is to get out.
"why didn't u answer my call?!" "Cuz i was dancing to my ringtone!""why didn't u answer my call?!" "Cuz i was dancing to my ringtone!"
"OMG our house is on fire!!" "OMG!! Hold on I need to update my facebook status!!!""OMG our house is on fire!!" "OMG!! Hold on I need to update my facebook status!!!"
When I'm bored I sit on Facebook and Like stuff...When I'm bored I sit on Facebook and Like stuff...
Strangers stab you in the front. Friends stab you in the back. Boyfriends stab you in the heart. But best friends only poke each other with straws :)Strangers stab you in the front. Friends stab you in the back. Boyfriends stab you in the heart. But best friends only poke each other with straws :)
Not all boys are in the relationship for sex, some want a good sandwich.Not all boys are in the relationship for sex, some want a good sandwich.
I ignore texts. I let the phone ring. I log off of Facebook chat. Its nothing personal, but people need to realize that sometimes I just dont want to talk.I ignore texts. I let the phone ring. I log off of Facebook chat. Its nothing personal, but people need to realize that sometimes I just dont want to talk.
The kids next door have challenged me to a water fight... I'm just updating my status while I wait for the kettle to boil.The kids next door have challenged me to a water fight... I'm just updating my status while I wait for the kettle to boil.
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