Best Facebook status updates - Thursday - Page 74

The iPad: Because the iPhone was too small for other people to notice you.

I hate people who chew gum like retarded cows

I AM THE COOLER SIBLING :)

Not all boys are in the relationship for sex, some want a good sandwich.

I Hate It When I Do something Amazing And No One Sees it

Dear Tummy, sorry for all the butterflies. Dear Pillow, sorry for all the tears. Dear Heart, sorry for all the damage. Dear Brain, you were right

I ignore texts. I let the phone ring. I log off of Facebook chat. Its nothing personal, but people need to realize that sometimes I just dont want to talk.

The kids next door have challenged me to a water fight... I&#039;m just updating my status while I wait for the kettle to boil.

I ♥ THE WEEKEND

I tried being normal once. Worst 5 minutes of my life.